How to Recognize Leadership Dodgers - and Help Them
Leadership Development is a subjective process. It's as unique and stylized as any one leader or operating culture. A lot of Leadership Development Programs are custom developed and it's not always easy to pick rising stars out of a professional line-up.
It's a lot easier to recognize a "Leadership Dodger". A person who - through his or her actions - shows you that they are definitely NOT ready for leading an initiative or team. They're not even ready to lead their own way to the next level of productivity or promotion.
Whether you're a leader or you aspire to become one - you should learn to recognize these five "Leadership Dodges" as they're enacted by co-workers, colleagues, subordinates or even supervisors. My thought is, if you can recognize a "Leadership Dodge" when you see one - you can also work to develop that subordinate, serve that co-worker and support your boss or supervisor - in a way that helps them see the "less-than leader" behavior that calls out for an opportunity to turn "less-than" into "leader-like". The ulterior motive, of course, is to also recognize the leadership dodges as they relate to your own behavior. Learning "less-than-leader" behaviors helps you, by default, to become better at recognizing and even performing authentic acts of leadership.
The Scurry
The First Leadership Dodge I call “The Scurry”. Ever try to enlist
one of your staff members or co-workers to help you complete and important
task and get “The Scurry?” This is the Leadership Dodge that looks like a run
to the nearest exit. The person you are trying to work with is actually in
the act of running away from you. Sometimes they see you coming – and you
notice they even pick up the pace! This is when you know a person is avoiding
you or dodging a leadership opportunity. Now mind you – the person may have legitimate
reasons not to help you. He or she may be overworked and overwhelmed already.
They may be deeply aware of YOUR workload and have some inkling that you are
coming to them for help. They may also have less-than-positive interactions
with you lately – and well – want to avoid you. Thus you witness “The Scurry” live and “in-action”.
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If they don’t have time at that moment to discuss anything with you (ex: they are on their way to a meeting), they should explain this and then commit to time in the future to meet with you and to hear your concerns.
The Whack-a-Mole Beat Down
Regardless of the frequency of the speak-up, usually a co-worker is trying to make an important point – or voice an important concern. What you witness as a reaction to the speak-up, is an equally forceful beat-down. If the beat-down is unnecessarily forceful – then it’s categorized as a “Whack-a-Mole” beat-down. These kinds of exchanges – whether you’re a direct participant or an observer – are tantamount to professional humiliation. This people, is NOT leadership.
Leaders have patience and tolerance – and most definitely maintain composure in the face of constant disruption, distraction, disrespect and frustration. Whether you’ve heard this complaint once or a hundred-times – the leadership response is to treat it as a first occurrence. Meet the speak-up with active-listening and empathy skills. Validate the person’s complaint. Acknowledge and accept the information. Ask them to verbalize their desired outcome for the situation. If you can’t help them – or work to realize such an outcome – then explain – again with empathy, dignity and respect - why the request or complaint cannot be honored. If handled effectively, complaints do not rise again and again or escalate to a crescendo of roaring discontent.
The "Dis"
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The Third Leadership
Dodge is called the “Leadership Dis”. This leadership dodge is recognizable for
its blatant dismissiveness. It’s a look over the glasses that asks “Really?”
or body language that says “You have GOT to be kidding me!” It’s a verbal
laugh, a big sigh of disgust or a triple eye-roll. There are a thousand
ways to dismiss someone. My personal favorite was iconized by Mike Myers in
his Austin Powers movies with the Master dismissing Mini-Me with a simple “Zip”
sound accompanied by a zip-like hand gesture.
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Dishing out a “Leadership Dis” or receiving one is not very leader-like. If you’re still watching, participating-in, or a regular recipient of such behavior – you have your own leadership work to do. To grow beyond dismissive behavior – or to help others to – requires another “D” word. It’s called dignity. Treat others with respect and dignity – regardless of how they treat you. By doing so, you’ll develop stronger leadership skills and perhaps even encourage others to follow your lead.
The Next Leadership Dodge is called “The Cut-Off” and it’s not as friendly as the picture implies. A Cut-Off is beyond healthy corporate competition. This kind of dodge appears as professional blocking, people trying to out-run each other or otherwise working to circumvent, subjugate, minimize or misuse the talents of another. Experiencing or witnessing a “Leadership Cut-Off” sheds a light on the worst kinds of professionals – destructive ones. People who professionally cut-off co-workers, colleagues and bosses are very seriously leadership deprived – and are usually in need of instant leadership intervention.
Leaders worthy of followers never allow or enable leadership cut-offs. They empower competition while regularly recognizing contributors at all levels. The playing field is rarely level. Stepping on or over people doesn’t get you to the finish line quicker – it simply kills the spirit of the endeavor you are engaged in – and often seriously hurts the efforts and people of your organization.
Denial
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The Last Leadership
Dodge to recognize is a psychological favorite –the Big “D” – Leadership Denial.
This is the professional equivalent of
“Who Me? Can’t Be”. Leadership denial is often accompanied by all the other leadership
“D’s” like leadership dismissiveness and leadership destruction. Leadership
Denial often appears as a simple and immediate action – and it’s not a
positive one. If you get looks to kill coupled with back-off body language –
you are witnessing a bad case of Leadership Denial.
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Authentic and powerful leadership is open, accepting, strong and supportive. It is not mean faced or mean-spirited. It doesn’t stop thoughts and communication in its tracks. Real leaders do not deny feelings, thoughts or actions - whether they come from themselves or others. They let them live and breathe and find expression.
Think of denial as emotionally holding your breath. The next time you feel the cold stare of a colleague or your own shoulders hunching up in self-protection or disdain – ask yourself – How can I express and then let go of this emotion in such a way as to learn from it? There is a leadership lesson hidden beneath every denial. Recognizing Leadership Denial is your cue to go into discovery mode.
In Summary, these Leadership Dodges are the leadership mistakes, missteps and mishaps on the way to true leadership development.
My wish for you is that you recognize these Leadership Dodges with interest, compassion and a willingness to help yourself and your colleagues, co-workers, subordinates and supervisors become better leaders. If you can lead your own way, you can lighten life’s burdens for yourself and those around you.